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Last night, I went to bed with a lot on my mind and my heart was heavy.  As I laid in bed, all I could do was cry.  But I knew within my heart that there was more that needed to be done.  You see I am still getting comfortable in my own skin and the assignment that I know lies before me.  But I can no longer have my voice taken away from me.  I don’t speak on relationships much, because fact is, I am not in one and my previous one’s weren’t the greatest.  However, I am now more aware of the red flags and I don’t entertain foolishness.  I don’t speak on marriage, because I’ve never been down that road.  Actually, for a while I said I would never get married, but that idea has completely been erased.  But the area of my life that I can no longer be silent about and allow others to form their opinions on is my life and the life of other single parents.

If you want to know our struggle ask.  The media has done a good job at forming an opinion and many have followed suite.  But I want to be as honest as I can with you.  Being a single mother is the hardest task I have ever had in my life.  Not only do we have to be mother, but a lot of times because of the absent father, we have to play a dual role.  My time is split between five children and I am only one person.  I skip out on “Girl’s night out” for a trip to the movies to watch the latest G rated Disney film.  I’ve been told, “you had those babies”.  My response, “And I have been the only one taking care of them.”  But does that mean I don’t get tired or a little weary?  Everyone has an opinion, but no one wants to trade shoes.

In the eyes of some, being a single mother has become glamourized.  But I am still trying to figure out how we glamourize it.  Is it because we put a smile on our face while we look struggle straight in its eyes?  Is it because we have learned to make time for ourselves in order to give our children 100% of our energy when they need it?  How about we got tired of living in shame, fear and ridicule and are determined to hold our heads up high, because that is what we teach our children.  If we walk in shame, then our children live in its shadows.  If we live in fear, then our children internalize self-doubt.

So how would you like us to proceed?  Abortion isn’t an option because life has already been granted.  And the truth of the matter is, many of us could still be in the relationships we were in and “stay and deal with it” like so many of our elders did, but we realized we deserved better.   So the next time you are wondering, why a single parent does what they do, please ask.  For heaven sakes, the secret has already been let out of the bag.

“Building relationships of accountability and trust with all roads leading to love”.