Book collection

Book collection (Photo credit: Ian Wilson)

As a child, my goal was to become a doctor. My father was adamant about his little girl pursuing such a prestigious career. And for more than half of my life, I believed in my heart that I wanted to become a doctor. I had many hobbies, reading, writing and even a few collections, like baseball cards, stamps, etc but I was determined to make my father proud. I excelled in Math, English and Science throughout school.

I entered into my freshman year of college with Biology being declared as my major. I was well on my way to becoming that doctor. The second semester of my freshman year, I took a psychology class. I was beyond intrigue by the study of the mind, motivation, people, etc. I soon found myself changing my major to psychology still convinced that I could continue on with my pursuit of becoming a doctor. I even completed an internship in the OR at the VA hospital at Fort Miley in San Francisco. For an entire summer, I watched operations, amputations, open heart surgeries and more. I was intrigued and even considered becoming a heart surgeon. But even then, I knew it wasn’t something that I was passionate about. I got more satisfaction volunteering in the Special Education class in the Filmore.

I went on to graduate with my Bachelors in Clinical Psychology. I took one semester off and went back to pursue a 2nd Bachelors in Biology only to complete my pre-requisites for med-school. Well, I completed them but needless to say, my heart wasn’t into Physics, Organic Chemistry or biology anymore. My heart was with people, understanding their motivations and drive.

I said all this to say, I was groomed to become something other than what I was born to be. We spend half of our lives and sometimes more, chasing and pursuing what others deem fit for our lives. I treated the very thing(s) that brought me the most fulfillment just like a hobby. I put my writing on the back burner until I got so lost in the life that I was pursuing that I had to revisit writing just to find me again. So do I think I wasted time? No, by all means all those Science classes made me a great researcher and analytic. However, I do wish I had been more in tune with my passion.

Some words of advice:

Pay attention to what keeps your interest and this things that come natural. Those are your God-given gifts. Your gifts will make room for you you but only if you USE them.

Find ways to further develop those things that come naturally.

Do research, look for ways that you can make a living doing what you love.

Then, do the work. Nothing comes easy but believe me the work will pay off and you will enjoy the journey that much more doing what you love.

“I show my scars so that others know they can heal.”

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Sunday Mourning